Years ago, a friend of mine confided that she was considering leaving her husband, but she didn’t know how to begin.

“Why don’t you just get a hotel and get away from him?” I suggested.

“I don’t have any money.”

This response confused me because I knew that she had a job. I asked for clarification and her answer left me stupefied.

“My checks go directly into our joint account and he’s cut off my access.”

The advice I gave her was simple. I told her to go to a different bank, start up a new account, and inform her employer to make her further deposits there. She did so and that simple decision was the first act of empowerment that allowed her to get back control of her life. …

A few months ago I wrote an article detailing how law enforcement officers in Barron, Wisconsin had taken efforts to cut funding to a local women’s shelter. They claimed the funds were eliminated in retaliation to a letter the shelter had published in support of Black Lives Matter.

At the time, my assumption was that conservative politics and underlying racism had been largely the cause of the unjust punitive action. …

The Reckless Writer

Many authors cling to a fanciful dream of what it means to pursue a career in writing. The hope is that you can earn an income while eliminating many of the distasteful aspects of other occupations. The thinking is that you won’t have to obey a regular schedule, conform to a professional dress code, or endure the drama of office politics.

Well, you can keep on dreaming because none of that describes what it means to be a paid writer.

Just because the most renowned authors of our time often show up to conventions wearing frayed baseball caps and wrinkled t-shirts doesn’t mean that authors who are just getting into the game can afford to adopt an unprofessional approach. When you’ve written a book that’s sold a million copies, you can do whatever you want. Until then, it’s best that with every submission, you conduct yourself like any other candidate seeking an open position in a competitive marketplace. …

The thing I’ve learned after being married for twelve years is that I’ve been wrong in my life more often than I’ve recognized. My wife loves me and is very tolerant, but I recognize now we should never oblige our loved ones to endure inappropriate behavior.

As you get older, you hopefully become more aware of the effects your actions have on others. With maturity, your perception grows so you’re less focused on yourself and more focused on those around you.

Marriage is about compromise. At first, you compromise because you want to maintain peace. After you’ve been married a while, you start to understand that what you’re doing is not compromise after all. …

It’s pretty tough to live a rewarding life if you can’t maintain a positive self image. Everybody likes to think of themselves as a good person. When the reality of behavior does not align with the ideals of meritorious action, human beings resort to self-delusion in order to escape the torment of conscience.

Delusion is sort of an emergency fail safe to keep people from committing suicide and buy enough time to make amends for the errors of their past. …

My mom was four months pregnant with my little brother when her car broke down. It was a winter day in Wisconsin, and she was about forty minutes from home.

This was before the era of cell phones, but fortunately she was near a gas station. She went inside and called my dad.

“My car broke down, can you come and get me?”

There was a long pause during which she could feel the annoyance emanate from the receiver.

“Why don’t you call up a tow truck and have a mechanic look at it?”

There are times when the people in your life manage to sever your life force with a simple, swift and utterly lethal blow. In those moments, you realize instantly that it’s worthless to try and use reason. …

In grade school I had a teacher that wouldn’t strike a student. Instead, he’d pick up the student’s hand and slam it against a desk. You see, when you hit somebody, your body absorbs the same impact that you inflict. This teacher, who was a sadistic piece of garbage, had figured out how to inflict pain without suffering any consequences.

Since the January 6th insurrection, Republicans have made calls for unity their mantra. However, their entire focus has been to criticize anyone who suggests there should be a legal response to the insurrection attempt. …

Only white supremacists are dumb enough to film themselves whooping and hollering as they break into federal property. Only white supremacists are entitled enough to post those videos to social media to incriminate themselves. Only white supremacists are completely shocked and blindsided when they’re arrested for these actions.

White supremacists are evil, and the violence and ongoing culture of terror they perpetuate is horrifying. In addition to the pain and suffering they inflict, we also have to endure the spiritual exhaustion of knowing that they’re out there.

The stunning denial of reality white supremacists demonstrate is impossible for rational people to comprehend. Even a child knows not to touch a hot stove. But you can count on a white supremacist to press their hand against a glowing surface, all the while screaming about how Black Lives Matter and Antifa are the cause of their suffering. It’s so frustrating because it seems like it should be a simple matter to flip the switch in their minds and transform them into decent human beings. Instead, any attempt to reason with these people is the most complex, infuriating, and futile task in the world. …