Gosh, you used so many useful terms (DARVO, flying monkeys, grey rock...). What your comment most made me realize is how dealing with a narcissist diverts us from understanding that responsible behavior can bring us positive results. The tactics we use to deal with them hurt our chances at personal success in other fields. I guess it's something I've continued to try to overcome all of my life. You're doing the right thing in cutting them off, or keeping them at an arm's distance. You deserve more than to have people like that in your life sabotaging you. Thanks for writing!