I can't speak for you, but I know that in my experience, I have an involuntary response that forces the issue when there's something that's troubling me. Some part of me says, "enough" and it takes action to ease the burden. You're a good man and I can see in your writing that you have a highly developed sense of responsibility. This applies to both strangers and friends and it creates a knot of expectation. Unfortunately, we often get pushed into situations that offer no way out that doesn't involve some hurt. Sending you strength, you'll feel better soon!