I'm sorry that you're going through that. Our furry friends certainly enhance our lives and our moments with them are precious even in memory. One of my friends in my community is the local dog walker, and he said to me that when his time comes, he's going to lift up all the leashes of his dogs and jangle them to the heavens and wait for them to come and take him away. Sending you a virtual hug. Here's a story that might help (I hope): https://medium.com/human-parts/for-the-love-of-dogs-deedf33ceba1