It's interesting that you used the word "mellowed." My brother used the same word to describe my father when he (my brother) somehow got stuck in the role of "repairing the family" (it didn't work out for him.

That note your father sent really is chilling. I think I would have replied, "If there is ANY aspect of my daughter's life that you don't care to know about, then there is NO aspect of your life that I care to know about. Goodbye."

However, let me just add that I'm under no illusions that my perspective is "right" and I hope I don't come across as if I'm lecturing. This story overlaps my experiences in some ways and it's a theme I think on often.

Thanks for sharing this thoughtful article. It has left me in a thoughtful mood.