Probably green. Thank you for your nice comment. I was never deliberately mean to people, but in my 20s I finally figured out that I was driving people away with my behavior. There are all these conventions, some of them are the expectations of toxic masculinity, others are the absurd ideals of American supremacy, and they exert pressure on you to be other than who you want to be. When you're 10, 15, 20 trying to figure out life, you behave as your mentors expect you to behave. It's a tangle to get out of that. I never maliciously or deliberately tried to hurt anyone through lies or manipulation, but there was an unwillingness to be completely honest for a long time. I was mistrustful. I am more trusting now. It's just... easier.