You're doing the right thing. When letters come from anyone in my family, my wife plucks them out of the mail and scans them for anything important. Most of the time she just throws them away without telling me they ever came. I tried a reconnection a dozen years ago and it just cycled back down into the same old pattern of abuse. You deserve to be happy. People are not allowed to make you feel guilty for wanting that. Also, the greatest guiding light in life is to just do what you need to do to provide a life of love for your children. Best to you!